written by SupaSoulSis | northstar4women.com
An untreated wound will fester and infect the whole body. Our complete healing will ONLY take place when the infection is treated and removed. Spiritual surgery allows for the healing, as the process of removal occurs. Let’s ask God for strength and guidance in making the necessary first cut. Often times God is already at work by guiding us with whispers in our hearts to change, move away from, or remove someone or something from our lives. Other times, we pray and believe that He will assist us, provide clarity, and eliminate things and people – as a result you are no longer in the same position or people are no longer within your reach. This hurts! We feel a sense of devastation, pain and confusion. This destruction must occur before the buildup and construction of something new can manifest. In Christ, destruction is fertile ground to a newly constructed life.
Make no mistake this process is uncomfortable, yet this is the start of a full abundant life. This is the start of restoration. It is NOT always easy, but it’s necessary to live that promised abundant life. A journey which God intends to be a blessing to you and in turn blesses others. God’s ultimate blueprint guides us on how to live victoriously. I know this for sure because I get glimpses of glorious wins which allows me to become more perfected in Christ, feel more complete, and lacking in nothing.
Once upon a time, long ago, I unknowingly allowed my lack of self-worth to guide and steer my decisions. My voice was yet not found. Rooted in fear and anxiety, I used to “walk on eggshells” at home. My wounds were covered with the band aid of middle class normalcy. Bullied from everything from complexion in elementary school to speech articulation and possessing sincere cheerfulness in high school (apparently we all are in a struggle and how dare I buck the system). Everything seemed respectable and well, except for poor choices in some friends and most boyfriends. I was drawn to the neediest and damaged types; we can always spot each other out. Situations unfolded that could have nearly took my mind, but God had his hands on me. Spiritual surgery was in order. How can I feel restoration when my former experience with churches and church people were dull and lifeless? How can I heal when I am going from battle to battle with no armor? The same patterns were unfolding.
I have realized God always provides something or someone to propel us further; these are beautiful blessings. Iylana Vanzant, the inspirational speaker and spiritual leader who’s a regular on the Oprah Winfrey show, would say with conviction, “YOU have to do the work!” I then had to recognize the blessings, disregard self-pity, shame and consciously welcome blessings to help push forward. My push came in the form of mentors, my spiritual leader – Pastor Marchelle McLeod, the living word – the Bible, and my growing relationship with God. My voice became stronger as I matured, studied God’s work and implemented it in my daily life. It has helped me overcome, yet it is still a process. It’s been more than a decade long process. During that time, I have been surrounded by even more loving friends whose friendships are a blessing and their stories of recovery are inspirational and a testament to how God can use us after the destruction period. As a result of my re-construction:
— Self-worth and self-love became paramount
— Forgiveness became super important
— There is peace within me regarding my contentious relationship with my father which has improved. I admire
— his courageousness; he did his best as a father, a fatherless son who broke the cycle
— I understand and have worked on the root of my poor choices
— Advocating on the prevention and healing of abuse has become significant
— Actively mentoring and also allowing myself to be a mentee became key
— Reduction of stress became important after 3 surgeries within the last 2 years
— Earning a graduate degree this month after 8 years, 3 different grad schools and one program dismissal as a
— full-time working adult defines my perseverance
— Heeding the inspirational lessons learned from my best friend’s near death experience has increased my
— appreciation for life
— Advocating for myself without hesitation is no longer a problem
I look forward to His unfolding blueprint for my life because the glimpses are beautiful! I encourage YOU to look forward to the construction after the God granted destruction. It’s worth the discomfort.
About SupaSoulSis
A fiercely independent, spunky, witty, passionate, compassionate special educator/advocate and womanist who is fueled by God’s love, family, friends, and fun! (2) A suburban raised, city of Newark (NJ) fortified, New York City thriving, Globally minded woman. (3) Former Division 1 (NCAA) athlete. (4) A Christ follower who is interested in relationship NOT religion. (5) Jazz/Soul/Classic Hip Hop Lover and a secret MC